We Need To Talk About The Cinnamon Roll Issue
When you Google “why don’t bodegas always have cinnamon rolls” the first result is a post I authored earlier this year. Of course this fact fills me with pride. I am the voice of my cinnamon roll or at least a cinnamon roll. I take my job as mouthpiece of the cinnamon roll-hungry masses seriously, for example I’m writing a second post about it right now. But the fact that my cinnamon roll post from earlier this year is the most relevant to the search phrase “why don’t bodegas always have cinnamon rolls” it is ultimately unhelpful and, I think, part of the issue.
Why aren’t more people wondering why bodegas
I’ve thought about this a lot and I place the blame for the frequent absence of cinnamon rolls not on those who make the decisions about what to stock in the bodegas I’ve lived near or just visited, but on you. Why are you not buying more cinnamon rolls? Hello? Answer the question. Certainly if you were buying enough cinnamon rolls they would remain in stock. You’re buying enough popcorn, I can see. You’re buying enough chips. You’re buying enough soda. Gum, etc. These items remain stocked. If you were providing the proper amount of demand for cinnamon rolls I have to believe the supply would be there.
Maybe you think they are too high in empty calories. They are not. They are high in calories that fill you with joy, which is the densest and most nutrient rich resource we have on this planet. Maybe you don’t want to deal with the hassle of making them and cleaning them up. OK. You do not deserve cinnamon rolls but lucky for you they are still made available to you, sometimes, and likely will be available to you more often once you start buying them with gusto. Maybe you don’t have an oven. This one is trickier. I’m going to have to ask you to buy them just as a favor to me and I thank you in advance. Maybe you don’t want to spend money on cinnamon rolls because you need that money for other things. I understand. If I were being honest with myself I would conclude that I, too, should not spend money on cinnamon rolls at this point in my financial life. Well. It is with a heavy heart that I must request you spend the money on cinnamon rolls anyway, so the demand goes up (as we already discussed is necessary).
To inspire you, I searched YouTube for a song about cinnamon rolls. I believe this one accents our mission quite nicely. “How tasty you are,” the singer croons, of cinnamon rolls, in the song’s final moments. “And why can’t I just eat you up?”