Dog Questions To Which The Answer Is “You Are,” Ranked

Photo of my dog Peter by Silvia Killingsworth

38. Who’s my little sweetie?

37. Who’s my little tiny guy?

36. Who’s tryna eat a bee?

35. Who’s got his leg tangled up in his leash?*

34. Who’s always expecting a treat because I’m always giving him a treat because I need him to know that I love him and I’m not sure how to do it without the treats?

33. Who’s got a doggy body?*

32. Who’s scaring the guy on the walk who was scaring me before you scared him even though you’re little?

31. Who’s hungry for dinner?

30. Who’s my littlest love?

29. Who’s got a little dog toy in his little dog mouth?

28. Who’s a dog doll?

27. Who’s a dog doll who came to life?

26. Who’s gonna pee on the house rather than the curb when I look away for one second and get me in trouble with the neighbor who always seems to be watching me no matter what time of day?

25. Who did a good jump?**

24 .Who’s just so sweet that I can’t even stand it?

23 .Who’s asleep?

22. Oh my gosh who’s tryna eat a bug?

21. Who is a bug??

20. Who’s got giardia?

19. Who’s afraid of his giardia medicine?

18. Who’s afraid of cats but likes to pretend he just wanted to run away from them into the road because there was something there he wanted to smell?

17. Who’s afraid of his new collar that I spent $40 on which was a lapse in judgement on my part?

16. Who’s my little yawn guy?

15. Who’s so little that I can’t even see him?

14. Who’s a tiny living thing that I own (!)?

13. Who’s a puppy?

12. Who’s a doggy?

11. Who’s a little doggy boy?

10. Who’s got those ears?*

9. Who’s got those teeth?*

8. Who’s got a tiny nose?*

7. Who’s got big baby eyes?*

6. Who’s got a tail?*

5. Who’s got that face?*

4. Who’s got those little feets?*

3. Who’s got those little tap dance nails?*

2. Who’s the littlest guy in town?

1. Who’s a good boy?????????????????

*For these it’s “you do.”

**For this one it’s “you did.”