Put “Shower” On Your To-Do List

It’s hard to be productive in the modern world, what with online and news and phone. One moment you have the whole day ahead of you and the next moment it’s 1:21 p.m. and you still haven’t written your post about putting “shower” on your to-do list even though you made the art hours ago and you were momentarily inspired by its captivating beauty. It’s hard. That’s why I would like to share with you this productivity tip: put “shower” on your to-do list.

I’m not sure if having a daily to-do list is a universal experience for adults. Maybe your normal day, for example, is: you go to your job and you do your job and then you come home. “OK.” No list required. All right. Well. Some of us need a list, if only to visualize, in an organized way, the sort of things we aren’t going to get done today. (-Come up with ideas for things; -Organize dresser drawers; -Figure out career [??].) But here’s something I bet you do get done today, even if you have trouble completing all of the things you’d like to complete: take a shower. So put that on your list, how about.

Skeptics might question how writing something you were already going to do on your to-do list increases productivity. Well, I’m glad you’re here reading this article, then, you asshole. And let me ask you something — did you click on this post just to get mad at it and drop it into your friend Slack and make fun of it? Hm? Man. Fuck you. That’s for me to do to other people, not for you to do to me. Anyway the answer is it increases productivity because then you get to cross it out after you do it.

And isn’t that nice?

Merriam-Webster describes “momentum” as “strength or force gained by motion or by a series of events.” To use it in a sentence maybe you’d say something like this: “You gain ‘momentum’ when you are able to cross out ‘shower’ after writing it on your to-do list and then taking a shower.” That sounds right to me, like a pretty correct use of “momentum.” And you can’t argue with the dictionary.

And also, Newton’s first law. (!) If you’re not crossing out shower on your to-do list…who knows if you’ll ever start crossing out anything on your to-do list? But if you are crossing out shower on your to-do list…who knows if you’ll ever stop? You can’t argue with Newton’s first law; these are facts.

What if you don’t get around to taking a shower, and you don’t get to cross it off of your to-do list? That’s tough. That’s going to make you feel worse than if you never put “shower” on your to-do list at all. Maybe the thing is you don’t shower every day. I guess I don’t, either. Also I have a friend who never showers, so this wouldn’t work for him at all. Hmm. Maybe if it’s not going to be a day when you take a shower you can put something else on there that you know you’re going to do. “Brush teeth,” or something. “Make coffee.” Whatever you think you’re going to be able to accomplish early on to trick yourself into thinking you’ve accomplished something early on. It’s fine. 🙂

So, there’s the productivity tip. It’s a boost. It’s a jolt. It’s a putting “shower” on your to-do list and then crossing it out when you take a shower.

Do it, why not?