Four Days Is The Right Amount Of Days For A Long Weekend

Not three.


I know this for sure: four days is the right amount of days for a long weekend.

This opinion is similar to this opinion about how you need an extra vacation day after your vacation in order to fully enjoy your vacation. Maybe you’d like to read that piece first as a primer before you jump into this piece. These ideas can be a little hard to grasp, and I want you to get as much out of them as possible. Hm? OK. Are you ready? Four days is the right amount of days for a long weekend.

I had this conversation multiple times over this past long weekend and, I hate to brag, but, everyone agreed with my point of view that four days off is significantly better than three days off. Here is how it goes when you have three days off:

First day: Happiness
Second day: Looming dread
Third day: Depression

Oh, my gosh. That sounds terrible! To compare, here is how it goes when you have four days off:

First day: Happiness
Second day: Relaxation
Third day: Relaxation again
Fourth day: Calm acceptance

Ahh. The answer is clear. So, that’s it.

Just kidding. (There’s a little more.)

A four-day weekend allows you to fully immerse yourself in the idea that life could be enjoyable, if only you knew how to avoid work forever. By the time you reach the second day you’re not thinking, “tomorrow is the last day. This has gone by too fast. I’m wasting both my time ‘off’ and my time ‘on.’ How did the years go by so quickly? What am I doing? I have wasted any potential and all opportunities I have ever had and now I am left with nothing and it is only my fault.” Instead you’re thinking, “I can’t believe how much break I have left!”

It’s so nice.

And then, by the time you reach the third day, you’re not thinking, “How did I let this happen? Why did I not take advantage of every day, not only in my weekend but also in my life in general? Of all of the free time I had? I could have been somewhere by this point. I could have done something. And now tomorrow, what will I do? Just get back to it. But to what? Nothing. I don’t know. Oh god.” Instead you’re thinking, “WoooooooOOOoo, still no work tomorrow!”

By the time you reach the fourth day, you’re ready to go back to work. You have a three-day week ahead, which is manageable. You were given the space to recharge, and you recharged. You are an asset to your company once again. Doesn’t that sound good, to the bosses who are in charge of scheduling? Workers…working. Workers ready to work…boss man…hmm?

The unfortunate truth is that there is rarely a reason for a four-day weekend. Next year Independence Day will be on a Wednesday, and what will we do then? Probably not even get a three-day weekend. That’s fucked up. Maybe you should tell your boss now that you’re taking that week off next year, or, if you’re your own boss, which is great for you and I’m proud of you, you can make a mental note. Ehh? Or maybe you should tell your boss, if you have one, “Fuck you, boss man. I’m sick of you and all of your shit, boss man. Find another COG!” I’m not sure what you should do, exactly, but I do think you should have more days off.

(I do not have a real job so this only applies to you.)

I don’t know. It’s tough. A three-day weekend doesn’t really do you much better than a two-day weekend, but a four-day weekend is paradise. A small but effective and highly unlikely change. And you don’t really even get too many three-day weekends. Hm. I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. I wish I could give you more four-day weekends. I’ll wish it on an eyelash later. I would tell you to just take an extra day off when you have your next three-day weekend, but the key to the four-day work-instated weekend is that no one is working. The stress of knowing that work is piling up at work and everyone else is working and they’re like, “Where’s [your name]? Oh. She took another day off? Cool. I guess we’ll just take care of her work, again.” (Your coworkers are rude.) Maybe that’s not very worth it.

I guess my advice is to just send this to your boss and see what she says. (My assumption is that the boss character is a woman even though earlier I said boss man.)