The Resistance Is Holding Your Belly On The Red Carpet
Whether or not you are pregnant
Halle Berry ignited a firestorm on Twitter last night after she posed for a press photo clutching her midsection, making the international symbol for “showing off my baby bump.” (Yeah, I know the carpet was purple not red, but the headline works better with “red.”)
Berry, 50, attended the Chrysalis Butterfly Ball in Los Angeles on Sunday clad in a silver sequined fitted dress that clung to her midsection. She cradled her abdomen and smiled as she posed on the purple carpet.
Just one problem. Halle Berry is not pregnant!
The actress and mother of two, 50, quickly issued a statement to Page Six denying that her midsection contains a fertilized embryo. So she was just voguing more bravely than anyone has ever vogued before. This is my new favorite move. It’s basically a troll pose. Why else would a woman clutch her abdomen, asks the idiot media? Any number of reasons!! Maybe it feels good. Maybe she is really gassy because eating only raw cruciferous vegetables is a little rough on the digestion? Maybe she is one of those women who’s just sooooo on top of her cycle thanks to her period tracker app that she claims she can totally feel herself ovulating? Maybe she’s been pregnant twice before and there’s no hiding that and she’s (GASP) proud of it? Maybe she’s Halle Fucking Berry and she looks better in a silver dress and a little belly than most of us ever will in this lifetime or even our dreams? She’s FIFTY!!!!!! FIFTY YEARS OLD
You should be allowed to clutch your abdomen in photos even if you’re not pregnant. Just my correct opinion. Halle, you’ve more than earned it.