S’mores Should Be Made With Chocolate Frosting

Hear me out.

I don’t get as worked up about dumb stuff as I did when I was younger, because who has the energy. I would have been SO mad about RompHims, like, three years ago. Now? You’re gonna need to try harder.

There are still a few mostly insignificant debates for which I maintain a reserve of righteous conviction, though. For instance, and I will go to my grave insisting upon this one: s’mores should be made with chocolate frosting instead of Hershey’s bars.

The reasoning for using chocolate frosting in a s’more should be immediately obvious to you. You should be like, duhhhhhh, omg. But JUST in case you’re not, here’s why:

  1. The crunchiest part of a s’more should be the graham cracker.
  2. The inside of a s’more should be gelatinous and melty.
  3. Hershey’s bars do not melt unless they’re very, very warm.
  4. Hershey’s bars do not adhere to the graham cracker, and barely adhere to the marshmallow.
  5. Chocolate frosting will adhere to both the graham cracker and the roasted marshmallow(s). (I also happen to think s’mores should be made with two marshmallows, not one.)
  6. Hershey’s chocolate is very bad.
  7. Chocolate frosting is very good. (I like a Duncan Hines Home-Style Classic Chocolate, but you are free to experiment here.)

I believe I learned this trick at a summer day camp circa ’95 or ’96, and I have embraced it as Biblical truth ever since. I have tasted the difference. You think you don’t care all that much about s’mores right now. But that is because you haven’t had one with chocolate frosting yet.

Hershey’s bars fall out of a s’more. Hershey’s bars melt on your fingers, not on your s’more. You’re gonna buy a big pack of them for your next bonfire and then your friends will eat 1.3 bars, and the rest will convalesce in your pantry for the next four years. The only time you’ll eat Hershey’s chocolate bars on their own is if you have your period and there’s nothing else in the house and you are desperate.

Chocolate frosting can be applied to the graham cracker with a knife, just so. I only put it on one of the crackers, but if you want to put it on both, go right ahead. I think that’s a great idea.

Chocolate frosting is also multipurpose: it can be used on cupcakes and cakes, or on top of a spoonful of peanut butter, for the dessert maniac on the go. It’ll keep well in the fridge for ages, so that when you want a s’more on November 12, it’s ready for duty. What I like to do in the off-season is: frost half a graham cracker, leave the other naked, and shove two marshmallows onto a fork. Then I twirl them around over a burner on low. It’s not quite as good that way as roasted over a real fire, but it’s very, very close.