Do You Love Yourself Enough To Get An Entire Shirt?

Or just one with the shoulders missing?

Floral Texture Open-Shoulder Blouse, $98 (Anthropologie)

Tell the world you’re ready for summer with this floral embroidered blouse and also that you don’t deserve to have fabric on your shoulders because of that thing you did that time, which everyone secretly knows about.

Stretch Knit Cold Shoulder Top, $59 (Nordstrom)

This royal blue stretch-knit tee is perfect for cooler days when you want your whole arm covered, except for your shoulders, which you want exposed to the elements. On wet days, open shoulders create a convenient trough-like effect to funnel rain down sleeves and onto your hands.

Cold-Shoulder Bow-Sleeve Cami Top, $98 (Banana Republic)

A pink bow-sleeve cami is the perfect way to ring in warmer weather, but with some extra fabric on the arms for some reason. Don’t worry, though! The fabric doesn’t cover your shoulders, which we all know must be exposed at all times due to a recent bill passed in Congress while you were sleeping.

Open-Shoulder Baseball Jersey, $19.90 (Forever 21)

Show your love of an all-American pastime with a classic baseball jersey which someone went ahead and cut the shoulders out of for you. This will prevent you from being mistaken for an actual baseball player with shoulder material, because nothing’s worse than being expected to catch a fly ball when you’re only trying to air out your shoulders at a game.

Project Social T Rylan Cutout Tee, $34 (Urban Outfitters)

Someone forgot to finish making this ribbed tee, but you can just go ahead and throw it on because you obviously don’t give a fuck about having a complete shirt. It’s summer and you’ll be damned if some missing shoulder fabric is going to keep you from hanging out at the food court in a sultry manner right now.

Leonie One-Shoulder Top, $78 (Anthropologie)

This little asymmetrical number is just the thing for when one shoulder has been obedient and the other has committed grave atrocities when you weren’t looking. Punish your one evil shoulder by wielding it openly in the sun, rendering it impossible to hide its offenses, all while sheltering its benevolent counterpart under the comfort of flowing lavender fabric.

Cut-Out Cold-Shoulder Swing Top, $22.94 (Old Navy)

A fluttery swing top will keep you light and breezy in the dog days of summer when you will be most at risk of the common summertime affliction, Hot Shoulder Syndrome. Protect yourself from Hot Shoulder Syndrome by keeping your shoulders bare. Always. They must never be covered.

Embroidered Open-Shoulder Dress, $48 (Forever 21)

It’s quite possible this open-shouldered dress could totally fall off your body at any moment, or will it? Nobody knows, and you sure won’t know when you leave the house in this embroidered shift which is just two quick snips away from becoming one with the earth, which will be fine, as long as no material touches your shoulders ever again. It’s the law now.