Historical Role Play for Ambitiously Amorous Couples

Do it like they did it in previous centuries.

John and Abigail Adams

Sit in separate rooms and write each other warm, intelligent letters outlining the enormous responsibilities and trials of building an unprecedented republic. Don’t forget to debate the vaccine issue. The evening should be kind and amiable if decidedly unequal. Sunset is bedtime.

Lady Julia Flyte, Charles Ryder, and Lord Sebastian Flyte

Idle away first the day then the evening in one of the lesser parlors, dressed in your best early afternoon lounging ensemble, talking about nothing yet feeling something dreadfully unspeakable. Wan, longing looks, plenty of champagne, and ample room for Jesus are called for.

Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor

Begin a torrid and notoriously combative affair fueled by vodka, the rapacious desire to be the center of spectacle, and cartoonishly gauche diamond jewelry. Fornicate on the lawns of your current partners. Fight with gusto.

Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett

Talk in circles around each other, alternately insulting, attracting, disappointing, and finally enchanting one another. Keep your eyes sparkling but your dancing reluctant.

Ma and Pa Wilder

Wake up before the dawn. Spend the day entirely apart, engrossed in the unending toil of staying alive on the frontier prairie. Keep track of your four (or is it five?) children. Look at your homestead together with uneasy pride. Fall asleep under a roof made by Pa, under a quilt made by Ma, holding hands.

Lot and his daughters

Flee into the wilderness following what was frankly, a pretty judgmental natural disaster. Get ungodly drunk to allay the growing disquiet of an unknowable future and a wrathful world and wake up with not a single memory of the previous night. Not a single one. Body language reads shame.

Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette

Just fuck already. It has been 7 years and the king is wildly unpopular and things are really destabilizing in Paris and will you guys seriously just fuck already? Stop fucking gawking at antique locks and make it a boy while you’re in there.