Poems on The Beginning of the Spring Semester

To get you in the mood for the new term.

1. On a Restful Winter Break

Welcome back!
Your corporation
That you
And your family
Had a restful winter break.

2. On Syllabi and Office Hours

Please submit your syllabi
And office hours
When they are

3. On Using Google Groups

E-mailing your entire class
Is easy using Google Groups
That are pre-populated
With your class members.

4. On the Death Star of Stress and Abuse That Is the MLA Conference

Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Did you go to MLA?
Christ no.

5. On a Drop/Add Report

This is a list of
Your advisees and students
Who have dropped
Or added courses
On 1/9/2017 6:01:02 AM
Attached as a PDF document.

6. On Extending Grace

Your university president,
Who makes roughly
Your salary,
But with another zero,
Would like to remind you
Here at the beginning
Of the semester
That life is
Not a straight path,
And has stops and starts,
And mountains and valleys,
And to extend grace
To the world.

7. On a Student on the Wait List

This is just to say
That I’m on the wait list
For your class,
And I’m wondering if I
Will get in,
So do you have
A crystal ball
Or something.

8. On Greek Recruitment and “Beach Weekend”

When you read the e-mail
From the administration
Warning you
About what can be expected
During the Greek
Recruitment period –
Otherwise known as
“Student Life Spring Events” –
Please attempt
Not to lose
Your will
To live.

9. On a Grant for Blended Online Learning Classes (BOLD)

This joint grant,
Sponsored by the Provost’s Office
And the Office of Online Education,
Is intended to support
Faculty interested in developing
High-quality online
(Or blended)
Courses in support of
The university’s
Undergraduate Mission.
The acronym is BOLD,
Which is a reference
To boldness.

10. On an Edition

The edition
Of the book
That you ordered
For your class
Is not available,
But the bookstore
Has ordered
Another edition.
Thank you.

11. On Revising Your Syllabus

When revising your syllabus
For the semester,
Please endeavor
Not to forget
That Spring Break
Is a thing
That happens,
As you did last year.


Poems on the End of the Academic Semester