Ask Baba Yaga: Can People Tell That I Am Unlovable?
Dear Baba Yaga,
My mother and I never bonded, as she was depressed at my birth and blamed me for her terrible life. Now, people seem to sense instantly that I am unlovable. Even though I am a nice person and do no harm and even do good works to the best of my ability, no one loves me or even likes me. How can I change this?
Your mother’s curse is a tunnel under the earth. ( She crawled through it, you crawl through it now, & who knows how many people before. In truth it is very old, it runs to the center of the earth. You are of ancient people, an ancient darkness, & it is not of yr doing. The dirt of yr back & hands is not yours, & it will wash off. :Look up & feel with yr hands through the soil, make your own tunnel out of the earth ; above you is light & grass & creeks, where you may wash & drink. & in yr bravery you will be seen & loved, the other creatures will know you as one who dug out of the tunnel, & you will be loved,for the tunnel you’ve eaten will flood with the sun of the newness of you, the you in the bright earth.
Previously: Has My Heart Grown Stone Cold?
Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She’s taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.