Better Security Questions
by Jaya Saxena and Jazmine Hughes
How old were you when you first rode the subway?
What does Isabel R.’s note say in the Dr. Zizmor ads?
How often do your non-New York friends secretly wish you’d stop talking about the subway being your rite-of-passage or whatever?
What was that thing that you said to that boy in 7th grade while trying to flirt that still makes you cringe?
Be real: how many times do you fart a day?
How much is string cheese on sale for at C-Town right now?
What is your father’s middle name, and how many times did your grandparents invoke it when he was in trouble?
How many days in a row have you been wearing that underwear/sweater/underwear and sweater combo?
Who was your favorite elementary teacher? What room did they teach in? Please draw a floorplan and provide selections from their syllabus.
Which Sex and the City character are you?
What was your first pet’s name? What are the coordinates of the spot in your backyard where you buried them?
In what city were you first kissed by a person who would later never return your calls, break your heart, and cost you undue amounts of therapy?
How many people do you wish you could unfollow on Twitter but can’t because it would be a thing?
Are you the gatekeeper?
[Inside joke from sophomore year of college]
What was the theme of that frat party you went to where you made out with that guy and then he started crying about how much he loved his girlfriend?
Who ya gonna call?
How many guys have you made out with may have had girlfriends they didn’t tell you about?
When’s the last time you called your grandmother?
If high school you faced off against modern day you in a game of spades, who would win? Scrabble? A fight to the death?
Where did you flick your last booger?
What was the name of that kid who bit you in preschool? How many times a week do you fantasize that your whole life would be different if you’d just bit him back?
How old were you when your hair started getting curly and those bangs you had stopped working?
Can you even?
How old did you say you were when you went into your first AOL chatroom?
How often are you technically available but still “busy” on Gchat?
What’s your credit card number? Lol jk, no but like your SSN? And your mother’s maiden name? If I said the word “PIN” what four numbers come to mind?? Wait, where are you going?
Image via Wikimedia Commons.
Jaya and Jazmine are poop twins, among other things.