What Rhymes with Netflix?
Last night, game-changing, groundbreaking, Netflix signed some-hit-wonder Adam Sandler to a four-movie deal, because his films have proved to be incredibly popular with their subscribers. After its completion, Sandler sent out a short press release, which includes the following:
I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only . Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks. Let the streaming begin!!!!
What else does Netflix rhyme with?
“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry manages to insult gays, straights, men, women, children, African-Americans, Asians, pastors, mailmen, insurance adjusters, firemen, doctors — and fans of show music. That’s championship stuff.”
“Blended, amazingly, is likely the best thing Sandler has made since Funny People, and it is still a regressive, racist, sexist parade of telegraphed set-ups and unfunny, mean punchlines.”
“Honestly, [That’s My Boy] is one of those movies you feel stupider just for having sat through. I think I’m already worse at math.”
“More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside.”
“[Grown Ups] might just be the summer’s worst movie, no small feat in a season already reeking of foul cinematic emissions.
DEAR GOD WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, THIS IS SUCH A BORING CHOICE, IS THERE LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE, DID EVERYONE OTHER TALENTED PERSON ON THE PLANET NOT ANSWER THEIR PHONE THAT DAY, I KNOW WE ALL PRAISE ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE A NOTED DIVERSITY ISSUE, WOULDN’T IT BE COOL IF WE MADE A HIRING DECISION TO CHANGE THAT
HE EVEN MAKES CHRIS ROCK LOOK BAD
Here, randomly, for no reason at all, is a list of talented women working in the film industry: Amy Schumer, Stephanie Allain, Effie T. Brown, Lone Scherfig, Lisa Cholodenko, Amy Heckerling, and Julie Taymor. I wonder what’s up with them?