All the Treats in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cordelia: Here’s a chocolate…Oh. I don’t think I need the loony-fringe vote.
Buffy: Well, I-I don’t even *like* chocolates…
Drusilla: Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She’s a bad example, and will have no cakes today.
Xander: Yeah. It’s a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a delightful creamy, white substance of goodness. And here’s how you eat it.
Cordelia: They’re, like, ‘Let’s lose some heads’. Uhhh! That’s fair. And, and Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!
Drusilla: Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey. Until you came and ripped their throats out.
Xander: Alright! Someone else’s loss is my chocolatey goodness… A Chocolate Hurricane! These are the best! I haven’t had one of these since my…
Ted: And cookies! Who’s up for dessert? I made chocolate-chip cookies!
Xander: Ooh! Cookies!…Well, that’s the cookies talkin’, but you rock!
Jonathan: Um…Cinnamon, chocolate, half-caf, nonfat.
Willow: And anyway, Angel’s coming. So she’ll be able to protect him *and* have cake.
Cordelia: Is anybody else gonna have cake?
Joyce: I’m sorry I didn’t have time to make you a real cake.
Buffy: You know, chocolate says that even better…
Willow: Like an Oreo Cookie. Well, except for, you know, without the chocolatey *cookie* goodness.
Lily: Can we get cake?
Rickie: Don’t be stupid. We gotta eat healthy. We can’t have cake. Can we get pie?
Lily: We gave blood lots of times ’cause you get a few bucks. And they have cookies!
Xander: Okay, on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old ‘you missed me’ routine, but it’s risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?
Joyce: What would I do with forty chocolate bars?
Giles: It is your destiny… I just bought twenty ‘cocorific’ candy bars.
Snyder: That guy took my candy!
Buffy: The candy. It’s gotta be the candy! It’s cursed.
Willow: God, using candy for evil!
Joyce: Screw you. I want candy.
Giles: Oh, for God’s sake. Just let your mum have the sodding candy.
Willow: It’s a little, uh, PEZ witch! I like…I-I *more* than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest…We have to find a little PEZ werewolf, so little PEZ witch can have a boyfriend.
Buffy: That didn’t work. Who wants chocolate?
Dickie: I wanna bake a cake.
Jack: Well, I’ve heard some interesting suggestions, but I’m gonna have to go with Dickie’s. Let’s bake a cake.
Xander: Hey! They’re not baking any cake.
Buffy: Right. The, the scene with the, the food. So, feel like getting some hot chocolate? Or a cold shower?
Xander: Oops! Sorry. But why ‘oops’? I mean, we always touch digits. It’s a friend thing. Comfort. Like chocolate.
Buffy: You know, like a cookie or a toy surprise like at the dentist?
Willow: I’ll buy you that celebratory cookie.
Giles: It seemed festive. Um, come in. Candy?
Buffy: No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard.
Joyce: Oh, that’s not true actually. The candy was for me.
Buffy: There is no problem that cannot be solved with chocolate.
Willow: Look, cookies. A very not-evil thing I did. Oatmeal? Eat a cookie; ease my pain?
Spike: Don’t I get a cookie?
Mayor: Who wants cheesecake?
Buffy: Oh! Oh, look. Giles has no cake.
Dawn: Cake time.
Buffy: No, thanks. Ooh, cookies. How come I get the little cookie treatment?
Dawn: Oh my god. Weird. And chocolates? You’re standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I’m-
Ben: Two steaming cups of chocolate goodness!
Buffy: Does it look chocolatey to you?
Warren: She’s a girl. Sugar and spice and everything…useless unless you’re baking.
Buffy: Do you want me to get you something before I take off? Kleenex? Chocolatey…Chocolate anything?
Anya: Uh, coffee, coffee, coffee, um, hot chocolate.
Giles: Well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance…then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.
Willow: And you’re her sweet cookie-face.
Buffy: There is gonna be cake eventually, right?
Spike: Hey now. If I’d-a known you were coming, I’d-a baked a cake.
Dawn: Knock yourself out. I feel a cookie problem coming on, myself.
Andrew: Where the hell have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass.
Buffy: I didn’t get this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair —
Giles: Ooh. Jaffa cakes!
Warren: Quick, before the shortcake comes back.
Anya: I could use a cookie, but I’m not making reckless wishes.
Buffy: OK, I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat — or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then…that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy… do I have to go with the cookie analogy?