In The Future All Love Poems Will Be Sponsored By Corporations

In The Future All Love Poems Will Be Sponsored By Corporations

by Josh Lefkowitz

Not Sponsored Content

You move me as any midnight moon might

cresting high in the canvas of post meridian

and shining down like an orb of hope,

yes, you are to me more delicious

than any seven-course banquet feast

and in fact, are only comparable

in your uniqueness and singular qualities

to these incredible Reduced Fat White Cheddar Cheese Its™.

Many are the nights that I have longed

for your touch, for your skin

to brush up against my own epidermis,

sinewy legs pretzled within my own,

this I yearn for, but speaking of pretzels, how I wish

I could swap them for a more fulfilling morsel

such as, oh, I don’t know, Reduced Fat White Cheddar Cheese Its™.

I think you will agree if I were to hypothesize

that a night enveloped in your arms

is an evening in need of no improvement whatsoever

and in fact the only way our needle of fulfillment

might be able to maneuver past its already too-full mark

would be if a certain cracker-oriented snack,

cheddar in flavor, snow-colored, and reduced in fat

were to be made available in a little bedside ramekin

Yes, then, then, my love, I could die

knowing that I’d summited my own happiness Everest,

ever resting in the glowing pool of your intimacies,

and once I do in fact die, could you please make sure

that after the tasteful funeral

there are plenty of tasty snacks on hand for mourners to nibble on

such as Reduced Fat White-Cheddar Cheese Its™,

Reduced Fat Original Flavor Cheese Its™,

and those difficult-to-find Garlic & Parmesan Cheeze Its™,

available in the snack-pack-size, for a limited time only.

Previously: Three Alternative Poems For Your Morning Commute

Photo via butupa/flickr.

Josh Lefkowitz writes poems and sometimes plays and/or essays. But mostly poems. He won the 2013 Wergle Flomp humor poetry prize.