Songs That Belong in Erectile Dysfunction Medication Commercials

by Gabriella Paiella and Marian Bull

10 Songs For Your Limp Dick

1. “Stutter,” Elastica

2. “I Just Don’t Know What to Do with Myself,” Dusty Springfield

3. “Under Pressure,” David Bowie, Queen

4. “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” The Rolling Stones

5. “Patience,” Guns N’ Roses

6. “I Can’t,” Radiohead

7. “Soft,” Kings of Leon

8. “Damaged Goods,” Gang of Four

9. “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want,” The Smiths

10. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” U2

10 Songs For After You Discover The Joy Of Erectile Dysfunction Medication

1. “You Make Loving Fun,” Fleetwood Mac

2. “Don’t Stop ’Til You Get Enough,” Michael Jackson

“Like hot candle wax sensation” is both a line in this song and a blip in the fine print at the end of this commercial.

3. “Just Can’t Get Enough,” Depeche Mode

4. “Prove It All Night,” Bruce Springsteen

5. Too Close,” Next

6. “Let’s Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits,” The Magnetic Fields

7. “A Hard Day’s Night,” The Beatles

8. “Wait (The Whisper Song),” Ying Yang Twins

9. “Sexx Laws,” Beck

10. “You Shook Me All Night Long,” AC/DC

She told me to come, but I was already there…thanks to this trusty pill [saggy old man winks]

1 Song For When Your Erection Has Lasted Past The Recommended 4 Hours

1. “Breakfast Can Wait,” Prince

Gabriella Paiella writes (and tweets) from Brooklyn. Yes, her name rhymes. Marian Bull splits her time between Brooklyn and the internet. She has never had a boner.

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