What to Expect When You’re Expecting a Sea Monster
Congratulations, and surprise! What an exciting time. There’s a lot going on in there! Here are a few tips to guide you through the next nine months, as your body starts to go through some big changes.
Drink plenty of water. Have at least 80–100 glasses of water a day. This might sound like a lot. It is. You may also find it helpful to gargle with salt water.
Start a name list. Here are some fun suggestions to get you started: Lana, Finn, Scylla, Aspidochelone, Cirein-cròin, Leviathan.
Think about when — and how — you’ll announce your pregnancy. Do you want to tell people you’re expecting a sea monster? Talk it over with your partner.
Jot down those crazy pregnancy dreams! Some of them might seem unusual, or even apocalyptic. But this is totally normal. For instance, maybe you’re having lots of dreams about the sea, sea monsters, tentacles, trembling, teeth. Dreams about the sea often represent unconscious thoughts or desires, and dreams about sea monsters can mean that “you feel or fear a particular problem is closing in on you in real life.” Parenting can be stressful, so try to relax while you still can. It helps to laugh!
Eat for two (hundred). Be aware of what you’re eating. Healthy choices like fish, vegetables and any sort of flesh are ideal. Expect rapid weight gain. Be sure to supplement with a gallon of fish oil per day for optimal brain development.
Finding out gender: Do you *really* want to know?
Keep track of movements. Fluttering, twitching, rolling, punching, kicking, gripping, suctioning, lashing…
Prepare older children. If you have older children who are not sea monsters, you might want to gently explain that Mommy is expecting a “sea monster” and not a “baby,” and that sea monsters don’t have “faces” or “hands,” and that “it” won’t be “cute.” Also, it might help to get them involved by giving them a job, like picking out the sea monster’s “coming home” “outfit.”
Assemble baby gear and prepare for the big day. Bottles, diapers, blankets, nets. Actually, no, sea monsters can fend for themselves, so you won’t need to buy anything. Just say goodbye and fling it into the sea. Run!
Image via Wikimedia Commons.
Natalie Eve Garrett is an artist, writer, and mother of two wonderful sea monsters. Prints of her art are for sale here.