Our Squid, Ourselves
Some women dwell in complete darkness, at unfathomable depths. They emerge only at night, rising to the surface to feed.
For years, there have been unconfirmed accounts of women leaping and flying across the seas: “We have discovered that women do not just jump out of the water, but have a highly developed flying posture. This finding means that we should no longer consider women as things that live only in the water.”
Women can tear at flesh and crush bone. Teeth line their tongues. Their spit can be paralyzing. They’ll eat anything.
Most women grab prey with their tentacles. But some women are different: they don’t use their tentacles as limbs, but as lures:
These women live all over the world, but this particular one was floating in a deep underwater canyon off the coast of California. Its body was largely transparent but flashed with neon pulses of red and violet. It hung there in the darkness at a slight tilt, beating its heart-shaped tail fins, arms splayed apart and tentacles outstretched.
“When we zoomed in for a close-up… we saw it wiggling and undulating by flapping its membranes. We were really excited.”
Women are small, giant, everywhere, elusive.
Giant women, like most women, are a mystery, despite being *giant women*. NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT GIANT WOMEN DO DOWN THERE.
There is only one species of giant women, and they are all “basically identical”: “Things that live in one area eventually become different from things in other areas but giant women are basically identical everywhere.”
These are the first images of a real live giant woman!
Women are legendary. They consume our imaginations.
In a flash, women can change the color and texture of their skin, becoming virtually unrecognizable. Their skin is elastic and iridescent. They can mimic almost anything, anywhere, anytime. You might be looking at a woman right now.
Masters of disguise, women can even display fake testes to escape unwanted attention. The opalescent inshore woman, for instance, possesses shimmery cells that can change color for camouflage or communication, or — create the illusion of testes. Haha, psych!
Women are absurdly fast, and use jet-propulsion to rocket through the water. They’re smart, strong, and good looking — and they grow quickly.
Women emit light. They’re not afraid of the dark. And they’re not afraid of you.
Photo via clarity/flickr.