Probable Upcoming Female-Centric Trend Pieces

I Had it All Till I Leaned In to Opting Out

Link Found Between Early Death and Women Who Pursued Post-G.E.D. Education

Studies Say the Sound of a Woman’s Voice, Especially When Discussing her Feelings, Career, or Taste in Music, Lowers the Potency in Sperm Count
Report: Quitting Jobs to Stay Home to Churn Butter and Work a Loom Linked to Happiness

Studies Show Work/Life Balance Achieved Through Crying in the Bathroom

Science Says Men Like Blowjobs More Than Exclusivity Talks

Uteruses Will Age Five Minutes Further from Optimal Childbearing Years by the Time You Finish Reading This Piece

How Breaking Up with Someone in Your Twenties will Lead You to Spending Your Forties Living in a Women’s Collective in the Catskills and Singing Backup for a Carole King Cover Band

Studies Say Women Who Pursue Fulfilling Careers Increase the Risk of Producing Children Who Also Seek Fulfilling Careers in Children

Study: Women in Their Thirties Age 50,000 Times Faster Than Their Male Counterparts

Why Dating Like You Did in High School and Faking Orgasms to the Dave Matthews Band is the Smartest Decision You Can Make

Millennials’ Fertility Are Slipping Through Their Dick Pic Receiving Fingers

The Curious Case of Men’s Fertility: How Men’s Sperm Increase in Desirability and Potency as it Ages

Science says Pursuing College Degrees Linked to Uteruses Aging Four Years

Why Internalizing Trend Pieces on Your Waning Fertility Actually Makes You Less Attractive to the Opposite Sex

Previously: An Imaginary Conversation With My Potential Child When I Tell Her About Hanukkah

Photo via zenangie/flickr.

Michelle Markowitz is a comedy writer and storyteller in New York. She can be found subtweeting Cory Booker @michmarkowitz.