This Is What a Swamp Booger Looks Like
Hello, hi there. This is a swamp booger. What is a swamp booger? Oh, just a deer hide that someone has stitched a face onto for decoration. Sometimes they go on the mantelpiece. From Hairpin pal Seth Rosenthal, who excerpts from Dave Madden’s The Authentic Animal:
The swamp booger is the answer to the question, What are we supposed to do with all these posterior deer hides? You take the ass skin of a deer, turn it upside down so the tail hangs to the floor, secure some glass eyes near the top, and fix an artificial bobcat jaw right where the anus used to be. Et voila!
Basically, people so regularly mount the foreparts of deer that there is a surplus of orphaned deer hind parts. Sick, inventive taxidermists realized they could convince collectors that they oughta have deer asses on their walls by fashioning said deer asses into spooky faces.
Ha ha ha ha ha hawhat in the hell. Swampboogers.com has a different story:
These animals are very shy and only move in the cover of darkness. Sightings are so rare that most people have never seen one and actually regard them as a myth. In in 2003 a team of scientist stumbled into a small colony of them in the middle of the Sumter National Forest. They are now protected by Federal Law.
I’m not sure who to believe. These are, apparently, in high demand, and probably best used for terrifying sisters around the world. If anyone out there has ever come across a swamp booger before, please tell us why.