A Tale of Two Holders

If you are anything like me — meaning you go for long stretches of time without paying any attention to the real news — you might have found yourself on Twitter, being like, “Wow, the character Holder, from AMC’s The Killing, sure has a lot of opinions about our country’s legal policies!” And then you realize, OMG, the Attorney General of the United States — his name is Holder too! Now everything makes sense.

Here are just a few tips for telling these two Holders apart.

Holder, Eric

• Attorney General of the United States

• African-American

• 62 years old

• Born in the Bronx

• Went to Stuyvesant and Columbia

• Recently announced a plan to end mandatory minimum sentences for non-violent drug offenders

Holder, Stephen

• A character played by Joel Kinnaman on AMC’s The Killing

• Does not have a race because he is not a real person

• Does not have an age because he is not a real person

• Was not born anywhere because he is not a real person

• Did not attend schools because he is not a real person.

• Joel Kinnaman, the actor who plays Holder, recently completed season three of The Killing; Holder, however, completed nothing, because he is not a real person.