The Top 10 Things My Accountant Said While Preparing My Taxes

by Chappell Ellison

10. “I’ve seen worse, I guess.”

9. “You sure spent a lot of money on eduction.”

8. “What do you MEAN you only use the Internet for work? Do you not use pen and paper?”

7. “How can you not own a printer?”

6. “You should try to get more W-2s instead of 1099s.”

5. She holds up my highest-valued 1099: “You should get more jobs like this one.”

4. “I work three jobs, but at least they’re stable.”

3. “Do you even have a plan? Do you think you can do this forever?”

2. “I’m going to be honest here, I’m just going to say this. How do you survive?”

1. “If you ever want to have a family, you need to make some major life changes.”

Chappell Ellison is a design writer and critic based in Brooklyn. She will file her own taxes from now on.