Living Your Dream, Drunk on Ancient Liquor

Look, if you’re the caretaker of a historical mansion, you’ve got a pretty sweet gig already. Especially if you and the ghosts have come to an understanding. Even if the mansion is in Pittsburgh. There’s no call for this.

Hill stored the whiskey trove with plans of preserving it, but when the caretaker moved out, she discovered dozens of bottles were now empty. While Saunders initially denied the charges, a DNA test proved that he had been sipping straight from several of the bottles. Now Saunders is accused of drinking 52 bottles worth of historical whiskey, which was bottled in 1912 at the nearby West Overton Distilling Co. and valued at $102,400 by a New York auction house.

What this reminds me of, apart from the human condition, is this weird Lawrence Block short story about a pair of nemeses who traded this hot chick’s virginity for a bottle of extremely old brandy, except one of them conned the other and got both. It involved hymen surgery andddd, now that I’m thinking about it, a lot of Orientalism. Don’t read that short story. Don’t drink your employers’ old historical booze.