Future Questions in Women’s Advertising

by Emma Rosenblum

“Want younger looking eyes?” asks a new Olay commercial for Regenerist Eye Serum. Wait, can eyes actually look old? According to Olay, they can. Some other questions sure to pop up in women’s advertising soon:

Are your lips immature?
Are your nail beds feeling anxious about work?
Are your wrists finicky eaters?
Is your hair rude?
Do your knee caps look like they could use a vacation?
Are your breasts avid readers?
Are your fingers confused?
Do your earlobes want to get into college early?
Does your belly button feel lonely?
Are your knuckles always ten minutes late?
Is your right shoulder tone deaf?
Is your arm hair moving to Brooklyn?
Are your wrinkles on a juice cleanse?
Is your tongue cranky?
Are your toes jealous of your heels?
Are your eyelashes up for a promotion?
Do your eyelashes deserve a promotion?

Previously: How to Talk to Women

Emma Rosenblum is an editor at Businessweek.