In Which Nicole Kidman Says Nothing Controversial

There’s an interview with Nicole Kidman in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar (isn’t that the most marvelously olden-sounding of magazine titles, by the way? can we purchase a Godey’s Lady’s Book from the same colporteur?), and it is a towering achievement in bland, inoffensive, mild placidity. Which is not intended as a slight to either our towering redhead or the interviewer, it’s just what happens when you’ve wised up about the press after three decades. Take it away, Nicole!

1. Tell her she’s on the cover of Bazaar’s Daring Issue and her response is a shy giggle and a “good Lord!”

2. “Yeah, I’m different than what they think I’m going to be,” she says of her perceived hauteur. “I’m reserved. I’m more of an introvert than an extrovert.”

3. “Totally!” she agrees.

4. She had landed in New York in 1989, filled with romantic illusions of the theater. “I grew up with the song ‘New York, New York,’?” Nicole says. “I just remember getting off the plane and being completely overwhelmed.”

5. “Having your work be the basis of fame, that’s a far more stable feeling.”

6. “I’m not caught up in any of it. It’s not really a part of my life.”

7. On finding that mythical work-family balance, she says, “I’d love to say that it’s easy, but it isn’t. I miss them so much when I’m away.”

8. “Time goes by so fast now, and having raised two little kids who are now adults and two new children in the world, it’s fleeting.”

9. “I find standing and posing for photos very awkward,” Nicole says, relating how she sometimes gets body makeup all over Keith’s tuxedo. “Red-carpet truths!”

John Mayer, hire this woman to conduct your public engagements. Hire this woman at ONCE.