Happy Hour: Booooo(ze)

by Diana Vilibert

Sure, it’s kind of a bummer not to celebrate Halloween by making your neighbors give you candy. And, as some of us learned last year, that dressing your cat up as a baby and telling your neighbors that it’s really your child dressed as a very realistic cat only gets you sad looks, and very few miniature Snickers.

But there are also great things about celebrating Halloween as an Old — like you can get more out of your costume when you bring it out for bedroom roleplay. How else would you have discovered your Where’s Waldo fetish? And let’s not forget the best part of adult Halloween: booze. Who needs to beg for candy door-to-door when you can celebrate with themed Halloween drinks, buy your candy at 50% off the next day, AND still have time to accidentally sext your boss pictures of yourself posing lewdly in a giant pumpkin costume?

Well done, you. And on with the drinks!

Black Martini (above)

2–1/2 oz. Black Vodka (it’s a thing)
1/2 oz. Blackberry Brandy
1 Olive

Directions: Combine liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake for fifteen seconds. Strain into a well chilled martini glass or serve on the rocks in an old-fashioned glass. Garnish with skewered black olives.


Witches’ Brew

Ingredients for frozen hand:
1 (10 ounce) package frozen raspberries, thawed
2 1/2 cups cranberry juice
2 envelopes unflavored gelatin

Ingredients for punch bowl:
2 cups cranberry juice
1.5 liters ginger ale
1.5 liters sparkling apple cider (non-alcoholic)
1 liter vodka
6 gummi snakes candy

Directions for frozen hand: Wash and rinse the outside of a rubber glove. Turn glove inside out and set aside. In a 4-cup measuring cup, combine the thawed raspberries and cranberry juice. Pour 2 cups of the raspberry mixture into a small saucepan. Sprinkle the gelatin over and let stand 2 minutes. Warm over low heat, stirring constantly, just until gelatin dissolves. Mix back into the reserved raspberry mixture in the measuring cup. Pour raspberry mixture into the inverted glove. Gather up the top of the glove and tie securely with kitchen twine. Freeze until solid, or several days if possible.

To serve: Carefully cut glove away from frozen hand. Place frozen hand, palm side up, leaning against side of a large punch bowl. Pour in ginger ale, cranberry juice, vodka, and sparkling cider. Garnish with gummy snakes.


The Morguerita

6 ounces tequila
6 ounces limeade concentrate
3 ounces triple sec
3 ounces light beer
Corn syrup
Red food coloring
Margarita glasses

Directions: Fill the blender three-quarters full with ice. Pour in the tequila, limeade concentrate, triple sec, and light beer. Include a squeeze of lemon and a squeeze of lime. Use the “ice crush” setting, if available, and blend the drink. Pour a couple of tablespoons of corn syrup on a plate. Add a half teaspoon of red food coloring and mix into the corn syrup with a spoon. Dip the rim of each margarita glass in the corn syrup mixture and let the “blood” drip down the glass. Pour the morgueritas into glasses.


The Count

1 part Beefeater Gin
1 part sweet vermouth
1 part Campari
Half and orange (chopped into small pieces)
Lemon zest

Directions: Muddle all ingredients together; add crushed ice, churn and then crown with more crushed ice. Garnish with a lemon peel.


Green Ghoul

2 ounces Blue Ice Organic Wheat Vodka
1/2 Organic Kiwi, Peeled
1/2 Organic Lime, Cut Into Quarters
1 teaspoon Organic Sugar

Directions: Muddle fruit and sugar in a mixing glass until well crushed and juicy. Add ice and vodka and shake vigorously. Pour all contents into bucket glass and drink with straws.


Absolut Bloody Burns

1 part Absolut Peppar
1 part Fernet Branca
4 parts tomato juice
1 clove garlic
1 pinch celery salt
2 dashes Worchestershire Sauce
1 dash Tabasco

Directions: Score the garlic with a knife and rim a large tumbler. Build all ingredients over ice. Garnish with cucumber slices.


Spicy Mulled Cider

5 oz. apple cider
2 oz. spiced rum
1 oz. St. Elizabeth Allspice Dram
1/2 oz. freshly squeezed orange juice
2 whole cloves
1 cinnamon stick
Pinch of nutmeg

Directions: Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring until well combined. Once the cider starts to steam, pour the contents of the saucepan into a mug and serve.


The Red Goblin

1 part Malibu Red
2 parts lemon lime soda
lime wedge

Directions: Stir all ingredients on rock ice in a highball glass. Garnish with a squeezed lime wedge.


Previously: Drinking and Hiking.

Diana Vilibert is a person who blogs.

[Images & recipes: Black Martini via WhattoDrink, Witches Brew adapted from AllRecipes, The Count via Beefeater, Morguerita via cathiefilian, Green Ghoul via Blue Ice, Absolut Bloody Burns via Absolut, Red Goblin via Malibu, Spicy Mulled Cider via Lisa Curry at BehindtheBurner]