Get This Look: Royal Ladies

by Rebecca Jane Stokes

The ‘Sexy Victoria

While the end of her days found her majesty so corpulent that she required an elaborate system of pulleys and levers to gain egress from the royal horse-drawn carriage, in the flower of her youth, this spunky minx enjoyed nothing so much as romping with her spaniels, spirited waltzes, and mad bang-sessions with her favorite Saxe-Coburg and Gotha-born Euro-hunk, Prince Albert.

To get this look: leather knee-length a-line skirt, lace tippet, open-crotch nude body stocking, and micro-bustle.

The ‘Mad Like a Castilian Fox’

Joanna of Castile was so smart, rich, attractive, and well-born (her parents paid to have America discovered) that she bagged a husband named Philip the Handsome. Repeat: he was so handsome it was literally an adjectival added to his given name. Sadly, he was also a dirtbag who broke her heart with his cheating ways (due in large part, no doubt, to his surfeit of handsomeness) and then had her locked away for insanity, in a nunnery, so he could get his hands on her sizable birthright.

To get this look: vintage petticoat, handmade distressed gray and black denim corset with tulle, and ballet flats.

The ‘Lost Princess’

The Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia met her end in 1918 along with the rest of Tsar Nicholas the II’s family, at the hands of the Bolsheviks. While the tragedy of their deaths marked a turning point in Russia’s political history, Anastasia herself stands out in memory for the rumors about her escaping murder, having a voice not unlike Meg Ryan’s, and socializing with an embittered John Cusack while evading Bartok the bat. (See: Disney’s Anastasia.) While these were all ultimately discredited, the grandeur of Imperial Russia paired with the striking images of the lost Duchess continue to inspire brunettes the world over.

To get this look: Bologaro Trevor Ombro Dress, vintage ushanka, and school boy loafers.

Next Week: Fascists.

Previously: Desk Excavation.

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn. She’s an editor at Fempop, and spends a large amount of her time pretending to be a mildly evil cat on the internet.