“Mayday! Mayday! Is this thing on?”

“Hopefully, the control tower will then be able to send up a plane to fly alongside and hand signal instructions to you.”
 — The Guardian has some incredibly short — five steps! — instructions today for landing an airplane in an emergency. What are the hand signals, do you think? Here are some more words pulled from the piece: failing that, cafetiere(?), practice, probably, crash, good luck.