Quiz: Are You Being Insane About Choosing Your Bridesmaids’ Dresses?
Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:
1. Did you choose your bridesmaids’ dresses before you chose your own?
2. Did you then choose a dress for yourself that was like “Wait, what!? This one? I never” and then had to completely rethink your BM — short, and gross, for “bridesmaid(s)” on the wedding discussion boards you’ve sought guidance from — dress strategy?
3. Is this your second marriage and you only informally had one BM at your janky first wedding, so for real, for real this time will probably, chances are, most likely be the one and only time you’ll have multiple BMs? (← GROSS!) Not because it’s statistically unlikely you’ll marry again — in fact, it’s the opposite — but by the time you do, you’re for sure talking “matrons” not “maids” and that’s a whole other can of beans. Beans involving sleeves.
4. Has one or more of your BMs attempted to nonchalantly insert “I know, but spaghetti straps are just so disgusting. Don’t all of you agree with me completely about that!? Hahaha. Yuck, we hate them, right?” into a conversation about what movie you should go see, and you weren’t even considering the movie Bridesmaids because that’s been out on DVD since before you even had BMs?
5. After doing a Google image search for “grey bridesmaids dresses” (you realize the British spelling will get you more unique results) and opening a dozen or so pages, you yell for your FI (for “fiancé”; no idea why not just “F”) to come take a look. “See? See? Do you see how trendy? Everyone, like literally everyone including this CHILD BRIDE, is doing gray right now.” Your FI responds:
A) “You can’t tell if something is trendy right away, you know? It takes time to know if gray is a new classic.” (You: “There are no ‘new’ classics! That’s why they’re called classics.”)
B) “Ooh, pretty.”
C) “Well then do the navy one I like”
D) “You’re so cuuute when you get like this.”
6. As you’re about to decide on the navy ones the FI likes, the salesperson interjects:
A) “Are there going to be suits or tuxes?”
B) “Black ones?”
C) “Most people don’t go with navy, or any darker color for that matter, because it clashes with the black.”
D) “Navy is a classic, though. That’s for sure.”
True or False:
7. The swatch colors are all blending together and starting to resemble mud.
8. At least one morning this week, you opened your laptop to see more than one dress you didn’t even recognize staring back at you with longing “Please! Don’t you remember? You told me you loved me. You said we could work it out. I thought you were going to take a chance on me! I know I’m different, I take a little getting used to and maybe I’m not exactly as long as you were hoping for, but look at my price. Just look at it. Why won’t you look at it!?”
9. According to your calculations, your MOH (“maid of…” you guys get it by now) only returns one in seven desperate calls/emails/texts for help.
10. Your subconscious just isn’t ready to stop shopping yet.
(Bonus: if you answered “true” to that last statement, then it’s not really “sub”conscious, is it?)
(Double Bonus: Is the ad to the right of this sentence for a bridesmaid dress?)
Answer key: If you actually took this quiz, yes. If not, no.