How Not to Order a Drink, Part Four
by Camille Santochi
Me: I’ll have two vodka sodas, one Jack and diet, two Stellas, and a soda water with extra lime please.
Nightclub Bartender in Vegas: What?
Me: TWO VODKA SODAS, ONE JACK AND DIET, TWO STELLAS, AND A SODA WATER WITH EXTRA LIME.
Nightclub Bartender: Here you go. That’ll be $51.50, please.
Me: What’s the breakdown?
Nightclub Bartender: $14 each on the vodka sodas, $12.50 for for jack and diet, $8 a piece on the stellas, and $5 for the soda water.
Me: Can we do separate checks?
Nightclub Bartender: … yes ….
Me: Great! Here are four credit cards and some cash. I’ve written down the amount for each card on this napkin.
Nightclub Bartender: Would you like to keep a tab open?
Me: No, we’re going to pay per round.
Nightclub Bartender: Wonderful.
Previously: The Scottish Bartender.