Things Bethea Has Offered Me Recently

At some point while signing up for a website that needed proof I was over 21, I entered my birthday as a random day in the 1920s. It was my great good luck that the website then gave my contact information to a woman named Bethea.

November 15
The Precious Seven Princely Frogs of Luck Bracelet, 5 installments of $24.95
Dear EDITH, If you’re like me, you probably grew up hearing the lovely tale about a pretty princess who kissed a frog. Upon receiving the kiss of the princess, the frog turned into a handsome prince and they lived happily ever after in a life of royal luxury. I’ll bet you never thought you could actually be living the life of that princess, but I’m going to share something with you that could actually make that very life of luxury come true for you.

November 20
The Three Wise Men, Fu, Lu, and Shou, 4 installments of $19.99
The truth is, I am typing as fast as I can but cannot type nearly fast enough to keep up with my thoughts and my great excitement for you. If only you were right here in front of me and I could just tell you about what I’ve found for you in person, then see your radiant smile as it spreads from ear to ear. This is what you have wanted, your chance for everything you’ve wanted, all that you so richly deserve and have waited so long for. … Just send for your 3 very own Wise Men, EDITH. Then, prepare to live a life of great contentment, abundance and fulfillment.

November 21
The Golden Spinner, 5 payments of $29.95
EDITH, when I looked over your charts once more, I was hit with a strong sense of someone who has not yet realized the dreams of childhood. Your life, which began on May 26th, 1923 in , has pointed to me that you will have an extraordinary wealth destiny. The Gold Spinner is a spectacular jewel of geometry, it brings the centrifuge of infinite power spinning your 88 years into pure golden wealth designed to echo the movement of a spinning wheel. Fairy tales and mythology are crammed with references to spinning as a symbol of what you can achieve in combination with destiny.

November 26
The Angelic Vessel of Wishes & Dreams, $39.95
EDITH, I was visiting with a close friend of mine the other day when she suddenly said, “I always feel so calm and happy around you … I think it’s because you have such an incredibly soothing glow about you.” I thanked her for saying such a lovely thing, but then I told her that I couldn’t honestly take all the credit. And then I explained that I had recently begun to meditate on the Archangel Gabriel, trying to gain the help I needed to overcome some recent problems. With the help of Gabriel and the connective power of a very special talisman, I had found my way to serenity, success and the answer to my wishes and dreams for wealth.

November 29
Golden Glyphs of Good Fortune Watch, 5 installments of $29.95
Dear EDITH, When searching for new and extraordinary talismans for you, I find myself researching a great deal of resources in order to find just the right magical element that will bring you the most happiness in life. … So with all of my research on the beliefs and ways of the ancient Egyptians, I have come up with a powerful talisman that has the ability within its ancient symbols to transform your life, making it the best it could possibly be. I’m speaking of the Golden Glyphs of Good Fortune Watch.

December 2
Golden Keychain of Success, $19.95
Dear EDITH, I was thinking about two amazing powers that are key to having luck and success that leads to the ability to attract riches beyond your wildest dreams. I’m speaking of Talismans and Angels. … So when I recently came upon a Talisman that featured a Golden Angel, you can just imagine how thrilled I was because of its profound double whammy of power to draw abundant luck and riches to you. I dearly wish for you to have this Talisman in your possession in time for the Last Quarter Moon on December 17th.

December 6
Archangel Michael Medallion, 4 installments of $19.95
Dear EDITH, I often get chills down my spine when someone tells me about a birth coincidence like yours. This is because when I learned you were born in on May 26, 1923, I realized you are one of the people who could use the amazing “Angelic Key” I discovered (a medallion with mysterious ancient symbols and incredible power) made of pure 18 karat Gold and pure Sterling Silver, to open a “Portal” to The Archangel Michael.

December 8
Exceptionally Rare Buddhas, $44.95
As I said before EDITH, I want to share the secrets and benefits of Feng Shui with you so you can transform your life. Normally, these exceptionally rare Buddhas would cost significantly more, but, because you are a friend of Bethea’s, I want you to have my Buddha Family of Wealth for a very low, special price of just $44.95, which is actually a savings for you of 40%.

December 11
Secret Wisdoms of the 7 Angels Bracelet, $29.95
EDITH, I’m sure that very recently you have been feeling less than satisfied with life, and what’s going on in the world. You wish you could change your luck…find new love (or have love return to your life)… you wish you could reach peace of mind free from money and health problems. That is why, EDITH, when I came across this bracelet, with the Secret Wisdoms of the 7 Angels, my thoughts immediately crossed to you.

December 13
The Amber Sun, 5 installments of $24.95
EDITH, AFTER 88 YEARS ON PLANET EARTH, ON December 24th IT WILL FINALLY BE TIME FOR YOU TO CLAIM YOUR PLACE IN THE SUN. So now it’s up to you, EDITH: I hope you choose to walk in the light with the lovely Amber Sun Pendant. Remember, December 24th is just around the corner and by tapping into the intense planetary vibrations of that date you will open up new and unimaginably wonderful vistas in your life!
Your friend,