The 69% Perfect Man

From a study of 2,000 women, “most ranked their man as only 69 per cent perfect,” says the 100% perfect Daily Mail, with these 20 man-failings coming in first (through twentieth). While reading them, it’s hard not to imagine one amazing man with all these traits. (“I hate your mom, is she the one who buys you these horrible toothbrushes? I peed on the floor again, on a picture of your friends. Why are kids so nasty? Can you look that up for me, I’m too busy braiding my beard, and it’s making me sad. So what, leave me alone, I’d prefer to speak about this with my mother.”)