Online Dating Dissonance
Dear Farhad and Emily, I’ve been online dating for just a short time and have run into this sticky situation twice now. The other person has misrepresented their body in the photos. In one case, she just provided headshots and used group photos to hide her body. In another, it was a cut-and-dried case of lying. She included pictures of her entire body, but must have used pictures that were very old. I know how shallow this sounds, but of course a person’s physical appearance factors into my perceived compatibility with someone. I always complete the date thinking I’m being a gentleman, but then I never call or respond to them again. What’s ruder, to point out this situation and advise them to be honest or to simply never contact them again?
Slate’s interpersonal and technical experts combine powers to attempt to answer the eternal question in their latest Manners for the Digital Age podcast. (Here’s a transcript.) “Should I look for a whale?” “You know, you should’ve warned me that you don’t like to take the feedbag off, honey,” and, “You know what? You’re just a lot heavier than you looked. Get the hell out of here,” are three of Emily’s suggestions.