More-Accurate Bath & Body Works Fragrance Names

by Elizabeth Oporto

Sex With Someone Who Doesn’t Like Me

All I’ve Eaten Today Are Six Almonds and Some Cheetos Dust

I Wish I Could Walk in Heels

These Braces Are Ruining My Life

I Only Shop Here Because My Mother-in-Law Shows Her Disdain By Giving Me Gift Cards to This Store

I Still Don’t Have Boobs

Pop Tarts for Dinner, Again

I’d Rather Be a Mean Girl

I’ve Been Listening to the Same Taylor Swift Song on Repeat Since Yesterday

Maybe If I Smell Like Slutty V8 He’ll Like Me Better

I’d Rather Eat a Can of Frosting, But I’ll Settle For Smelling Like I Did

All the Condoms Under My Sink Are Expired

Sometimes I Feel Stupid for Just Saying No

My Boyfriend Won’t Use a Coaster

I Have to Use Internet Explorer at Work

My Secret Crush Is Matt Lauer

French Kissing Scares Me

I Ran Out of Deodorant

This Is Better Than Smelling Like Chips and Salsa on a First Date

Elizabeth Oporto lives in Brooklyn and never wears perfume.

Photo by Suzi Nelson, via Shutterstock