A Clean Person’s Holiday Gift Guide

This holiday season why not give the gift of clean? Our very own Clean Person has compiled a gift guide for the domestically inclined or challenged folks on your holiday shopping list. This holiday season may you be less filthy!

WD-40 3 oz Handy Can, $2.79
The travel-sized can of WD-40 makes for a great stocking stuffer and also a great excuse to link to the most amazing Jeopardy! winner’s story ever. And when the person getting it gives you that look like, “Oh my God I didn’t even realize you could suck so badly what even is this gift??” just be all, “Fine, but the next time you get peanut butter on your shoestrings don’t come crying to me about it.”

Wine Away Purse Size, $6.99
What’s in your purse?!

Good Housekeeping Subscription, $7.97
Print is so retro and cool, seriously.

Lint Shaver, $3.99
The most life-changing stocking stuffer imaginable. Other than, like, a winning lottery ticket or something.

Cyber Clean High Tech Cleaning Compound, $7.99
This would make a nice little add-on for the lucky duck who’s getting a new iPad, lappie, or other geekish-type gift this year.

Bona, $8.49
Buy this for your most immature friend from the greater Boston area. Snicker like the 12-year-old you are.

Boston Warehouse Peacock Dustpan and Brush Set, $9.94
There’s no good reason not to strut your tailfeathers when sweeping up lil’ messes! Or might you prefer the Skunk Duster?! Or the Octopus Dish Scrubber?!? Or the Giraffe Toilet Brush?!?! Or the Walrus Mini-sweep?!?!? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (Which one do you think Edith would like best? The walrus, right?)

The Bad Air Sponge, 2 for $19.99
The Bad Air Sponge is a swell little stocking stuffer or Yankee Swap item for the person in your life who has a fish-cooking neighbor, a used-car-with lingering-smoke-smell issue, or a cat they refuse to get rid of (seriously).

The Housewives Tarot, $11.53
The perfect gift for the soothsaying clean person on your holiday shopping list.

Citrus Lace Dishwashing Gloves, $13.95
Remember: gloves! Always gloves.

Jason Markk Premium Shoe Cleaner, $15
For the sneaker freaker in your life, this handy kit includes a 4 oz. bottle of Premium Shoe Cleaner, a Standard Sneaker Cleaning Brush and comes in a resealable pouch that’s just the right size to throw in a gym or overnight bag.

Slipper mop, $19.50 (reg. $23.50)
A pair of cute and functional slippie mops for your favorite hardwood-having friend.

Tocca Delicato da Viaggio (Laundry Travel Set), $22
Tocca is offering 25% off all online purchases with the use of the checkout code “HOLIDAY11”! Get the travel set so you can do a lap of all four scents before committing to a location.

Fraido the Feather Duster, $22
I can’t even with this. Fraido the Feather Duster has just killed me dead.

Mrs. Meyer’s Variety Gift Set, $24.99
All the scents! Many of the products! So many delicious things to try and decide which one you the person getting the gift loves the most!

Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Corded Hand Vac, $28.59 (reg. $29.99)
Bad news for Kone fans: I managed to finally speak with Dirt Devil Customer Service (not a recommended experience, oof) and the Kone has indeed been discontinued. But! This Bissell model comes highly recommended and if it will work on pet hair, surely it will do wonders for your own hairbleweeds.

Satin Hangers, $10.95 and Joan Crawford Portrait, $35
I’m totally getting this gift for Janie.

National Trust Book of Housekeeping, £25 (reduced from £50 for the holiday season!)
I asked my mother for this book for Christmas. I think she’s no longer speaking to me. (“If I wasn’t there in the delivery room, I would swear you’re not my daughter.”)

Cropped Asymmetrical Puffer Coat, $58.80 (reg. $98) and Wee Toddler Sneakers $8
When the recipient asks why you’ve given her toddler shoes I want you to get right in her face and yell, “BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WASH YOUR COAT, LADY.”

Blanché Charmeuse Case, $55+ and LeBlanc Silk and Lingerie Wash, $16 (reg $19)
Buy your girliest lady friend these beautiful silk pillowcases — which come in blush, blue, creme, gold, sage, silver, white and lavender — and some fancy pants detergent with which to keep them clean.

Salvaged Tarp Laundry Hamper, $69-$79
This is so precious and ridiculous and yet? It’s so precious and ridiculous!!!

Jiffy Steamer, $189
I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just screaming “I WANT IT WANT WANT WANT” at everything on this list.

iRobot Roomba 560, $399.99
The Roomba will clean your floors and keep you company after you’ve gotten rid of your cat.

Merry Maids Gift Card
“I bought you a cleaning lady. You can thank me by hiring a chorus of angels to follow me around, singing my praises.”

Jolie Kerr is an acquisitive Clean Person.