Your Forever Admirer: A Love Song for Jonathan Taylor Thomas

by Summer Anne Burton

When I was 12 years old, I fell in love for the first time. After two years on the rollercoaster of un-requitement, I gave up and carried on, with a broken heart. His name was Jonathan Taylor Thomas. These are the real surviving documents of that love:

His Light
As constant and beautiful simply
as light in far-away sky
I dream of the light in darkness
And welcome it when I awaken
I can only hope that I awake
from darkness of not holding him.

I am a Cancer: gentle, sentimental, inventive and original, mega moody, organized and methodical, affectionate, loyal and devoted.
He is a Virgo: Inventive and original, sense of humor in tough times, organized and methodical, animated and talkative, affectionate, full of magnetism, loyal and devoted.

I love: Animals and the environment, celebritys, my family, Jodie Foster, him, shopping.
He loves: Acting, animals and the environment, getting into mischief, his family, Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, the mall, hats.

My dream guy: Cocky, intelligent, cute, loves animals, thoughtful, romantic, affectionate.
His dream girl: Intelligent, cute, likes to travel, vegatarian, likes to fish, upbeat.

People describe me as: Mature, intelligent, upbeat, perky, fun, pretty, generous, thoughtful, romantic, talkative, center of attention, creative, affectionate, moody, emotional.
People describe him as: Mature, mischievous, intelligent, logical, sweet, romantic, upbeat, affectionate, original, trusting, honest, gentle, charismatic, cocky.

Why I Need Him
I would cry for help
But no one will answer
Which is why I
would cry for help
Family thinks me asleep
Friends are past curfews
Dog is resting
All I want is him
I need his shoulder
I want his hand
I desire his lips
I connect to his soul

I am starting this book to give to you when I meet you. Right now I am 13, and you are 14. We watched Lauren Hutton’s show last night, with you on it. Your politics are approved by my mom, by the way. Today I saw Tom And Huck. Kate has decided she KINDA likes Brad Renfro. She thinks he has nice eyes. Not as good as yours!
Tons O’ Love (Really, Love!),

I hate [redacted] sometimes. I wish I knew you today, I could call you and everything would be alright. When the person you love loves you back, life in general, I think, must be a lot better, you know. I think I dreamt of you, but I don’t quite remember.

Dear Jonathan,
I love you I think. Who knows? But there are lots of other guys… Still, when I see you, or read something you said, I just have this feeling like: This Is It. I don’t know. But I do care for you, if nothing else. I got another postcard. Those are so sad to me, so impersonal, you don’t even know who I am! Oh well…

I don’t know anymore. Maybe it’s not worth it. I probably won’t ever meet you. <Sigh>
But I do love you…

A full cycle in 5 pages. I still love you more than ANYONE knows, even Kate. I don’t know what to do, now, everything is hopeful and depressing also.
Summer, your forever admirer

I don’t think about you quite as much lately but whenever I see you I get the most intense feelings. It’s kinda like you don’t effect everything now, but you effect all the most important stuff more than you ever did…
[a bunch of hearts drawn here]

I rarely pine for you these days but you still effect my life. I keep comparing guys to you, I still have rituals (wishing on stars, rocks…) and looking back on 3 years (“our” anniversary is Halloween) I still feel as if I kinda love you. It’s all screwed up if I do, though. I need to move on and let it happen if it’s going to happen.

The clock blinks 1:31
And this morning I woke early
I’m more tired than ever
I wanna fall asleep
But you are all I can think of
Honey, you’re the one
With you in L.A.
And me in Austin
These thoughts won’t ever let me be

Summer Anne Burton is now applying her obsessive tendencies to drawing every member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.