The Haunted Vodka

Generations ago, a family in Western Canada had a proud but small farm. They raised crops and livestock so plentifully, they outproduced all the other farms in the colony. Soon, people began to realize that the spring that watered their land was the sweetest and purest in the area and was thought to be the source of their success.

A jealous neighbor schemed to divert their water to his own property. Stealing onto their land one bitterly cold winter night, he was confronted by the farm’s owner, known only as Tobias. The neighbor struck him with his shovel, knocking him unconscious into a pond near the mouth of the spring. The water thief completed his work, diverting some of the spring’s output to his property by means of the underground channel he dug.

Tobias’s body was later discovered in the ice that froze the pond deep on that frigid winter night.

No one knew how he died. The secret was safe until the neighbor began to report a strange presence of Tobias that haunted his every step. A presence that ultimately drove him mad. He confessed everything as he was driven in a prison cart to the colony’s sanitarium.

The farm has changed hands many times over the centuries, and now that same spring’s water is used to produce Frozen Ghost Vodka.

There is a vodka made by ghosts, out of water under ghosts’ control, and, if its packaging is to be believed, out of actual ghosts. There’s also a startling short documentary about its history.

Frozen Ghost, the “supernatural, super-premium vodka,” is only available in the South. Have you tried it? Are you still with us? If any ghosts are present, please describe yourself in the comments. If you can’t type, channel yourself through the hands of living commenters, Ouija-style. Here, I’ll go first.

My name is Lonnn. I am 9,000, and my favorite drink is wine.