Yet Another Great Idea for a Book…
by Crissy Van Meter
If I was capable of counting the zillionth man who said, “Oh you’re a writer? I have a great idea for a book,” I would be some sort of math genius. I would be the first woman to comprehend a zillion-trillion-billion-gazillion.
“I know you wouldn’t think so,” he’ll say, “but I’ve always wanted to write a novel.”
No, Guy, I didn’t see this coming.
But the fun part of this conversation is when he says, eyes squinted and lips pursed in a flirty voice, “Do you want to know what it’s about?”
Why, yes of course!
Here are my favorites:
1. Light sabers.
2. A gay man who wasn’t really gay at first, has a daughter and he then decides to be gay later in life and dates her ex boyfriend.
4. A man is in an abusive relationship with his mother and she beats him with wooden spoons until he finds a magic hole in the backyard to save him.
5. A guy is a professional boxer and gets knocked out too many times.
6. Three friends follow Phish around the US for a summer. They do a lot of drugs and realize that they are good friends — through thick and thin.
7. Bears, big ones.
8. A guy in a band loses his fame and money.
9. An interracial couple in Detroit loves music and cars.
10. Wall Street guy is actually a good guy and raises a good family in New York and has a lot of good things going for him because he’s a really good guy.
11. There is a guy who is lost in the woods and is saved by his thought-to-be-dead dog who can actually live just as long as a human.
12. Struggling on food stamps as a kid and taking care of three siblings after his parents die in fiery plane crash, guy falls in love with his sister’s best friend. Sister is a lesbian and is in love with best friend. Life ruined.
13. A geeky high school kid who plays too many video games gets clear skin and becomes the man on campus in college, twice.
14. Porn found in the woods.
15. Obvious things you learn in business school, obviously.
Call me a snob, but I really do have a soft spot in my heart for these conversations. Just maybe my novel is about a boxer in Africa with a dog-bear and a magic light saber.
Crissy Van Meter is a writer and editor living in Brooklyn.