Taglines for Romantic Comedies That Will Never Exist
by Julieanne Smolinski
– In love, there IS no auto-correct.
— All’s fair in Lovecraft and Warcraft.
— Because love can’t read a “No Loitering” sign.
— Baseball is America’s past time. Falling in love is Malaysia’s. This spring, fall in love with “Malaysian Vacation.”
— Jack was an uptight efficiency expert. Lucy was a free-spirited artist. They never met because they lived very different lives.
— He was trying to steal her microwave for hydrocodone money. He didn’t plan on stealing her heart. For hydrocodone money.
— She went looking for an ATM. Instead, she found love.
— She went looking for her Rite Aid rewards card. Instead, she found love. She signed up, for another Rite Aid rewards card.
— She went looking for signs of pre-cancer in most of her birthmarks. Instead, she found love.
— In life, there are no accidents. Wait, except for car crashes and medical mistakes.
— Can two people allergic to gluten build up a tolerance … to each other?
— Lucy thought didn’t believe in love. She also thought she didn’t believe that thing about how snakes can crawl into your house through the plumbing. Aaaa she was so wrong!
— There’s no backup method of birth control for falling in love.
— He GPS’d her heart, right into a fucking lake.
— He was a robot, sent to protect her. She was a jar of olives. There was some kind of technical glitch, in the time traveling process.
— This spring, Adrian Grenier falls down a flight of stairs.
— The battle of the sexes never involved this much flensing, before.
Previously: How to Safe Sext.
Julieanne Smolinski is a frequent Internet contributor who loves logging online to use Twitter, use Facebook, or get directions to exciting new restaurants.