Eight Is the New Sixteen
Eight-year-olds are growing up too fast these days! Not only are they getting botox, they’re also wearing padded bikinis — thanks to Abercrombie Kids, who started selling these push-up-bra-style bathing suits as part of their new spring line. Parents are mad, as they should be. But I’m sure young girls, always eager to grow up fast, will go crazy for this innovation. Or they could just do what we did in the olden days: make “cleavage” for ourselves by stuffing kleenex in our bikinis, and then we’d forget we had it in there and dive carefree into the pool, causing it to dissolve and make a noticeable mess. I mean…yeah, we all totally did that.