A Picnic Can Tell You So Much About a Man

It’s spring, that magical time when we all dump our winter boyfriends and start heading out on the town to find new love! But how are we supposed to know if the guy we’ve just met is worth our while? According to Babe Scott, a “manthropologist” at CNN, we just have to determine his culinary style. For instance,

“If he invited you out for a picnic but forgets the blanket, substitutes beer for bubbly and instead of a restaurant-worthy repast provides a McMeal, then this guy is obviously not going to rate as any sort of gourmet Sir Galahad. He is your typical Homer Simpson type.”

It’s true. Drinking beer on wet grass doesn’t sound that hot, and McMeals are dealbreakers! So how do we figure out if someone has what it takes to satisfy us long-term?

“If your date packs a romantic meal for two: think shared nibblies, cold chicken, bubbly and even a salad, then this speaks volumes. This guy is someone who will invest in romance — not just now but in the future.”

Got it, he plans a romantic meal; therefore we can deduce he is romantic and will always be that way. Easy enough, but what if we run into someone who refuses to eat outside of his house. Is he a suitable mate?

“If a guy only wants to stay indoors then it means one of two things: either he has silverfish in his wallet (as he uses it so infrequently) or he is allergic to sunlight. Neither are attractive options.”

OK, so we should stay away from guys who keep bugs in their wallets (even if it’s by accident) and/or cannot go out into the sunlight. I think that’s it. That’s all we need to know. Now we should go out to the park and wander around aimlessly until we find a stranger who’s got a picnic (with champagne!) laid out for us.