Ladies Pamper Themselves In Disconcerting Ways
The FlyLady asked readers to send tips on how they pamper themselves, and oh my god. I’ve plucked my favorites for you.
Curl up in a sunny spot on the floor for 10 minutes… Swing on the swings at the park. ..Have a “tea party” by cutting up Little Debbies into bite-size pieces and serving tea using the good china.
Or just stay on the floor, even after the sun moves across the sky and a chill falls on the room. Imagine someone comes into the room and doesn’t want to see you on the floor like this, maybe lifts you up and carries you to bed. Maybe he whispers in your ear. He calls you Little Debbie.
I take what I call a “Reeses vacation”. I can do this anywhere and it costs about 35 cents! I simply sit somewhere, close my eyes, eat my Reeses (very slowly), and do all I can to relax and imagine myself elsewhere. I’ve been all sorts of places — the Carribean, riding an elephant in Thailand, etc. I imagine the warmth of the sun on my skin, the feel of the sand if there is any, a slight warm breeze, birds singing… I’ve been know to do this in the midst of my living room with my three young boys running around sounding like hungry tigers.
Do hungry tigers sound like, Mommy are you okay, MOMMY? Something’s wrong with Mommy. Please wake up Mommy! She’s dead! I think Mommy’s dead!
I love to take a footbath with simply hot water. You have to sit for the next few moments, unable to move… So prepare yourself for those moments.
Because when you stop walking from room to room, remembering to never leave empty handed, just to keep the house neat? When you just sit, a maw opens in front of your chair. Or an abyss? It’s a lot like being dead. Everything stops. I know you can’t really prepare yourself to die, none of us can.
Sometimes I ask friends to come over and eat together. We’ll just take a look in both kitchens. Both just looking for mjummie things. And we’ll have a strange meal but with a lot of fun!
Last night? Oh, I went to dinner at my new friend’s house. That lady I told you about. Her house is so big that she has two kitchens, two! But there wasn’t much food. She opened her cabinet and just stood there, pointing to an old box of crackers and talking baby talk. Then she took off running and wanted me to chase her, back and forth from kitchen to kitchen.
Every night I simmer two quarts of plain broth from vegetables (no meat or flavorings), and set the hot quarts in Mason jars beside the bed (in a big punch bowl so I don’t knock them over). During evening routine or waking up during the night, it’s so soothing to sip on them. Then in the morning the leftover broth can be heated up to start the day. For some reason, it’s uncomfortable to drink plain room-temperature water, especially in winter; but heated with vegetables and some warming ginger it feels really good and adds liquid and vitamins too.
Wait, what? She is up to something, but what? Does she pee in those jars by her bed, but tell her husband the night-broth story? Speaking of elaborate pranks, am I being punked? Edith, did you plant these deranged tips for me to find? If so, well played.