We Are Seriously Getting So Stupid

We are dumber than ever!

After two years in college, 45% of students showed no significant gains in learning; after four years, 36% showed little change.

Oh no! Quick, though, think of something you learned in college. […] All I can hear is the AIM door creaking open and slamming shut. Creak, slam, creak, slam. Plus,

Students also spent 50% less time studying compared with students a few decades ago, the research shows.

This is terrible! We are so stupid. Seriously, we’re so stupid it’s out of control. What’s going to happen to us? Who will save us?

Dear Aliens,

OMG we need your help sooo bad! Do you even know how weak and idiotic we are now? It is TOO sad, for real, but we just don’t know anything anymore — when people ask us a question, we’ll be like, almost every time, “I have no idea.”

Can you please come help us get our groove back? If you come and … give us some medicine that you invented (?? or whatever!!), we’ll be so grateful. Personally I would do anything you wanted, no matter how weird.

I know you guys are busy (like with what, out of curiosity, also?), but if you get some free time, please consider my request. THANK YOU!