The Super Period Fun Time Uterus Piñata

by Blanca Mendez

That time of the month is usually just a nuisance that we women deal with because we have to, and because we’re not whiny little babies like men are. But sometimes it’s the express train to Crampsville in Too Many Emotions Land and we just want to punch something really hard or maybe yell at someone for saying “good morning” too cheerfully. It’s times like these that make us curse our lady parts and wish we didn’t have all that complicated tubery going on down there. Finally, someone understands our frustration and has the perfect short-term solution: the Super Period Fun Time Uterus Piñata, available on Etsy (of course). Yes, it’s a piñata in the form of a uterus, only bigger!

The product description is more about loving your uterus (“because every now and again you have a period that deserves a freaking fiesta”), but if you’re going to beat a uterus piñata with a stick, then it’s probably because you’re angry. And when you finish taking out all your rage on this $140 piñata, you’ll be rewarded with chocolates, because that’s what ladies eat when they’re period-cranky. Also in the piñata are tampons to bring you back to reality. But in fun colors to distract you from the pain.

Previously: Pink and Purple, Pink and Purple, Pink and Purple.

Blanca Méndez is a freelance writer and cat sitter who lives in Brooklyn. She reads the Internet and sometimes writes there, too.