Grumpy Priest Betrayingly Flustered by Sexy Clothes
In his crusade for an “all-Russian dress code,” Russian Orthodox archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin inadvertently reveals he can’t stop thinking about sexy clothes. But only because he hates them! He definitely hates them. Hate, hate, hate! Get them off! But not literally! He’s also no great fan of a woman who’s
painted like a clown [and] confuse[s] the street with striptease.
Furthermore, this awful type of woman
can provoke not only a man from the Caucasus [the predominately Muslim region on Russia’s southern border, as the Times explains], but a Russian man as well.
Uh oh. I won’t even ask what it’d be like if she’s been drinking.
If she is drunk on top of that, she will provoke him even more.
One step ahead! You can probably see where this is going, sadly.
If she is actively inviting contact, and then is surprised that this contact ends with a rape, she is all the more at fault.
Of course. But in Chaplin’s eyes, provocative clothing leads not just to rape but also
to short-term marriages, which are immediately followed by ratlike divorces, to the destruction of children’s lives, to solitude and madness, to life-catastrophe.
And who wants a ratlike divorce? Plan your outfits wisely.