Edith, What’s Actually in Your Handbag Right Now?
by Liz Colville
In the spirit of magazine articles that employ celebrity handbags and makeup bags to give readers a product-dump of shiny, enviable bottles, tubes, jars, and pots (see: Marie Claire’s “In the Bag” feature, an interesting but frustratingly manicured celebrity “exposé” found on the last page of the print edition), we began by asking each other, and then, hopefully, other women with bags, What’s actually in your bag right now? Edith, you first.
1. Moleskin notebook.
2. Bobby pin.
4. Travel-sized Kleenex.
6. Yves Saint Laurent glossy lipstick thing (“Gloss Volupté” in No. 3 Frozen Cherry) — smells good, I used it up pretty quickly, but I keep it in my bag in case I get hit by a car and they wonder what kind of woman I am.
7. Used up tissues, because I’m sick.
8. Magician David Blaine’s business card. No joke. “I do card tricks,” he said. I keep it loose in my purse because I guess I’ve been subconsciously hoping for an opportunity to show it off like this, and also because it didn’t fit in my old wallet that I just replaced.
9. Other little notebook.
10. Cole Haan wallet. Christmas present from my mom. Replaced a beloved Velcro wallet that was falling apart.
11. Business card holder thing. I got it for free in a gift bag a few months ago, but I forget I have it, and haven’t given anyone my business card in at least a year.
12. Ticket. I think this was for Rob Delaney’s one-man show a couple weeks ago. (It was a good show! Follow him on Twitter!)
13. The container for a pair of pastel green hairpins (!) my friend gave me that have little faces painted on them and little ears made of feathers.
14. Laura Mercier SPF 15 Lip Kisses lipstick in I believe Rose Quartz, although the label has worn off. I never use this one anymore.
15. CVS brand band-aid.
16. Crumpled receipt.
17. Rite-Aid brand oil-blotting papers. Don’t get these! These suck. Stick with the Clean & Clear blue ones, or the CVS brand blue ones. God, I hate Rite-Aid.
18. Laura Mercier lip stain in Mulberry. This is pretty good!
19. Yu-Be hand lotion. THIS IS THE BEST LOTION! Highly recommended.
20. Little pink hand mirror my mom brought me back from Japan a few years ago.
21. Matches from local wine store, never used.
22. Pen, broken.
23. Cranberry-scented Weleda hand lotion in a metal tube. From the same gift bag as No. 11, the business-card holder thing.
24. Battered Rite-Aid brand tampon.
25. Korres lip butter in Wild Rose. Kind of the wrong shade, but sometimes worn in combination with No. 18, the Laura Mercier thing.
26. Rosebud Salve. Not actually so crazy about this, but I discovered it in my childhood bedroom over XMas and was like why not.
27. Oral B floss. I’ve never used this. Not floss in general, just this one.
28. A rock with a hole in it, from my friend Cecilia. Or is it a bone? Thank you, Cecilia!
29. Contacts case.
Oh, shoot, and I realize my keys and phone aren’t pictured, but that’s because I take them out as soon as I get home. Liz?
1. Kindle, inside a cheap neoprene case from eBay. Never thought I would be into this gadget, but you know, I am. When there are lights on. It’s not back-lit. It’s so old school!
2. A notebook that I’ve mostly been using as a mousepad.
3. The February issue of Elle. As you can see, I am way more interested in what Karlie Kloss is selling (Dior) than what the cover girl Katie Holmes isn’t anymore selling (The Kennedys).
4. A blue Rimmel eyeshadow quad. How might one go into a drugstore and buy a million makeup items and be charged around $20 at the end of it? Buy all Rimmel. See also: the Rimmel Stay Matte foundation over to the right, which I forgot to label. Excellent, cheap, and oil-free!
5. A Clinique eyeshadow with perhaps some splatters of toothpaste on it. This eyeshadow was actually free with my mother’s purchase of an expensive Clinique cream for my sister. That’s just how it is in my family. That’s just how it is.
6. A wonderful Topshop lipstick in a shade called Rio Rio, which is slightly more orange than the red notebook pictured. A rare treat, yet it’s always in here.
7. Dog kibble!
8. A Dynamite Melon-Filled Melon Mint Candy. Not sure if/how this belongs to me. Restaurant?
9. Neostrata wrinkle cream that I bought at a pharmacy in Canada during some kind of windfall. It has Retin-A in it. It’s never too early for Retin-A, I’ve decided.
10. A piece of a pendant that’s supposed to be like a … ranch house? This is just the roof of it. I think the house proper is in a different makeup bag somewhere.
11. My “wallet.” I haven’t had a functioning wallet for years. Don’t care!
12. An expired passport from 1997. My only form of ID right now (besides the real passport, which is too special for that).
13. Random pen, writes decently well.
14. Matches from Bonita, a restaurant in Williamsburg that is no more.
15. Packet of Theraflu. Instant unconscious party.
16. Bose on-ear headphones. Highly recommended! Partly because even if something/someone chews through the cord five times, Bose will keep sending you a replacement.
17. Almay #1 Makeup Remover. This shit is awful, it will leave your face looking like you just spent a day in the sun with Banana Boat tanning oil all over you. (It’s “moisturizing,” which is an evil word.) But it’s all I have right now.
18. Tweezerman tweezers.
19. An iron pill.
20. A pop-up Christmas card from my sister of a cat messing about with a Christmas tree.
21. Something that might be connected to my keys in the future, I haven’t figured out what I want to do there yet.
22. Dorky running sunglasses! How embarrassing. When on, they make me look a lot like this guy.
Photo via Lookbook.nu