Yogurt Company Admits It’s as Full of Sh*t as You Literally Are, Still

Oh snap! In a press release titled “Dannon Agrees to Drop Exaggerated Health Claims,” the FTC announces the yogurt company has been lying to us all along.

Dannon will stop claiming that one daily serving of Activia relieves irregularity, and that DanActive helps people avoid catching colds or the flu.

Dannon, you bitch!

Also, does this mean to achieve “regularity” and eliminate “slow intestinal transit time” (lol) you now need to eat multiple Activias in a row? That could actually be turned into an amusing sort of flip-cup game, I guess, also playable alone. (But seriously, who eats Activia? This is for constipated people? Or ladies who don’t want to eat laxatives, but also want to eat laxatives? Mysterious.) [Via]