The Men’s Health Holiday Gift Guide
by Liz Colville
Men’s Health may not know your girlfriend’s name, or what she looks like, or how she votes, but for the purposes of the dreaded gift-giving season, it is pretty confident that she’s one of five things: “Entertainer,” “Girly girl,” “Geeky girl,” “Foodie,” or “Fit chick.” Once you make the simple decision of what category she fits in, buying her a gift should be a joy. There are five choices for each type of girl, so basically, your work here is done before it even began. But do you know anything about wrapping paper?
If she’s an “Entertainer,” meaning she cooks elaborate Sunday Night Football meals for all your friends, try Not Your Mom’s Dinner Party TableTopics, a collection of conversation-sparking cards, which would be great for all those lulls during football games. (“Hey, you guys, what do you want to talk about?”) The magazine notes: “A great hostess will always keep interesting conversation flowing for her guests.”
If she’s a “Fit chick,” try one of these hideous watches, which — YES! — are only $54.50. The magazine’s advice: “Don’t splurge for a clunky timepiece with an even heavier price tag when the whole point of a watch is to tell time — not to deplete your savings.”
OK, shit, there’s something in the “Foodie” category I actually agree with: a cast-iron skillet. “The cast-iron kind is so durable and versatile that she’ll never have to buy another pan again.” THIS IS TRUE, Men’s Health, this is true.
Some of the presents in the “Girly girl” category are alright, but this dreadful descriptor of course means that all the presents involve pampering oneself (herself) with celebrity-touted oils, glittery nail polish and home facial kits. Oh, and somehow a pearl ring edged its way in there.