“RELAX THIS HOLIDAY SEASON” guides are everywhere, and they are infuriating. “Smell some lavender,” “weave a calendar,” “plant a carrot,” etc., etc., infinitely. It just always feels like they’re trying to TRICK us. To loosen us up so they can come and take everything back. So The Hairpin’s official guide to Holiday Relaxation is DON’T. Don’t do it. Stay alert and BE READY. Be ready, because the … relaxation guides are coming for us? Haha. New pinnacles in journalism are reached every day!