What to Wear to Optimize Overeating This Week

by Liz Colville

Who doesn’t love a slideshow? I don’t. But Refinery29’s “The Best Outfits for Over-Eating” is nice, tapping as it does into the long-held belief that Thanksgiving is about solely a) dealing with your family and b) being a giant pig. If you’ve got it, eat it. But there’s one problem with Thanksgiving: there’s “nothing worse than wearing a too-tight dress with a turkey tummy.”

So, oh brother, the blog, which I ordinarily love, finds some outfits that surprisingly aren’t in the maternity section and rates them according to an “expandability quotient” and a “cute quotient.” My issue here is that ‘expandability’ is a noun and ‘cute’ is an adjective. But beyond that, wait, there’s one more thing, or perhaps three. The second outfit features some brown shorts with an elastic waistband and no pockets, therefore no distinguishing factors to convince me they don’t belong to my two-year-old nephew, holdovers from the era before he moved on to zippers and buttons. The third outfit — this is, of course, the gift that keeps on giving — features, “Finally, sweatpants you can wear to the dinner table.” And the fifth outfit is…well, you have to see it to believe it. Please let us know if you decided to show up to Thanksgiving in the fifth outfit and what happened when you did.