Please, Demi Moore

The mysterious “report” that Demi Moore spends $140,000 a year on plastic surgery and other elaborate youth-enhancing procedures is as good an excuse as any to ring the “Demi Moore Why Won’t You Please, Please, Please Just Admit to Having a Bunch of Plastic Surgery?” bell, which is always on a low clang in my head for some sad reason. Anyway, from earlier this year:

“I’ve had something done but it’s not my face. … The irony is that when I abandoned that desire to dominate my body, it actually became the body that I always wanted. But it only happened when I stopped trying to control it.”

Demi! Demi. You are a beautiful lady who is 48 years old, and hot!, you are a hot adult, but just say, “Yes, I got plastic surgery. Who cares; leave me alone.” Because blah blah, girls develop unrealistic expectations of how they can/should look at 50 and it misconstrues what it’s like to age gracefully, etc., but mostly your plastic surgeon deserves some kind of gigantic trophy. OK, that’s the end of the post!

OK, Demi. Everyone’s gone, so now you can just be real with me. Me, Edith. Your friend who you know. Please. Please just tell me. I won’t tell anyone, I swear to god, I don’t even care. No one even cares. I’ll tell you a secret, too. I’ll give you $20. Please, Demi. Demi. Demi. Demi. DEMI. Demi.

Photo via Flickr